I'm realizing that I have no idea what it's like to be married to someone with cancer. I find myself genuinely interested in this question. I guess I could simply ask my spouse. "Honey, what's it like being married to someone with cancer?" But I don't. To ask would seem either voyeuristic or egotistical. Like, "I assume that you spend every waking moment thinking about MOI and my cancer. So what's that like for you?"
But even if she doesn't spend every waking moment thinking about me, it's still gotta suck pretty badly. Think about it. When you're married to someone with cancer:
1. Chances are, you're gonna go second. Not fun. Sure, you're alive, but the half-empty bed, setting the table for one when you really just want to eat out of the fridge, all of your couply friends inviting you out. Blech.
2. You have to field all the questions, all the heads tilted in sympathy, all the tsks and sighs and stuff that I don't have to deal with because it might remind me that I have cancer.
3. You have to put up with someone (me) whether she's silent or venting, crying or laughing, not to mention catering to my every whim. "I can't go out for dinner tonight like we planned. Let's just eat the half container of hummus that's in the fridge and watch TV."
4. You're probably just as flummoxed as I am by this fine mess we're in, and I know that, and I'm sorry.
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