A brief word on feeling awesome

I found out today that a friend is ill.  Not only that, she's suffering - both from the illness and the medication.

That really stinks.  I, on the other hand, feel great.  Actually as good as I've ever felt.  Strong, clear-minded, pretty energetic. Not much alcohol; not much sugar. No pants that are shoved to the back of the closet because they're too tight.

The times that I actually suffer from cancer are when I flash back or flash forward.  Back to memories of devastating conversations: "The results are very bad." (Yeah, she did say that.)  Or, "I don't like it" (while reviewing some scans). Or forward to a future that doesn't exist: Imagining drugs not working, running out of options, hospitalizations.

Actually, none of that exists.  The past conversations happened and are over.  The future conversations or events... That phrase actually makes no sense.  It sounds like they're out there in the future, waiting to happen.  But they're not.  There is no future today.

So, in case you were wondering, in this moment I am extremely well.