Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Good news...

If you've been reading this blog, then maybe you've already discovered what I am only now beginning to understand. Namely, that my personal "Fuck you" to cancer comes from my refusal to make this a my-cancer-update blog. No offense to anyone who reads or writes those, but personally I can't think of anything I want to write about less than the ins and outs, ups and downs, of the various treatments, symptoms, and side effects that come with cancer.

That all being said, today I had some encouraging news.  Looking back, I honestly can't remember the last time that I had good cancer-related news - possibly over a year ago when I was on my first trial. Anyway, today my liver function levels were all either normal (What???) or still high but less than half of what they were three weeks ago.

The response? There are several. The Gina who is sorting through papers, labeling photographs, and reviewing her will is still definitely in the house.  I worked way too hard to get her in here to just kick her out because of a little glimmer of hope.  But there's also the Gina who can almost imagine looking back at this fall and thinking, "Wow. I really thought that was the end." This Gina is more like a houseguest than a full-on resident. I take her with a hearty tablespoon of salt. And there's the Gina who is simply afraid - afraid to die, afraid to trust a good result, afraid to make her children sad, afraid to eat a piece of pumpkin pie.

And so we stumble forward - we three Ginas - from moment to moment and truth to truth. 


11 comments:

  1. Gina, I love reading your blog for your excellent writing and inspiring words, but this is the best one, yet, Glad to hear the good news! Marla

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  2. I feel so blessed to read this blog every time I read it; so grateful for how much you are willing to share, how generous you are. Thank you Gina. And, good news is good news.

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  3. YEAH!!! Maybe that Liver heard us discussing cutting it up and decided to get it's act together :-) Whatever you need and however you need to get through is exactly how and what needs to be done. I've loved the one Gina and am sure the other two will be a joy…so long as they know they know we are going to a cubs game in the spring...will we need to purchase four seats for the cubs game now? I was just wondering?? ((((((((HUG))))))))))

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  4. Dear Gina, I've only recently discovered your blog (though Lisa told me of it quite some time ago and though I've been holding you in my heart...). I want to say how wowed I am by these pieces. How you manage over and over to put words on something essential and true. How you manage to see through the chaos of the everyday to that "essential something" -- and give it to us. Thank you. I am grateful and awed. With much love, Hilary

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  5. It's wonderful to share your cautiously hopeful moment!

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  6. Dear Gina,
    Great to hear the good news. I love reading all of your posts.
    xxoo
    Allison

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  7. i am not sure a tablespoon of salt is great for your liver, but i'm not a doctor or nutritionist....


    just found your blog today.
    i hope whichever place you are in, hopeful or fearful, you are feeling comfortable, rested, nourished, and held in the abundance of love that your friends and family and students are sending your way.

    lisa dee

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