That all being said, today I had some encouraging news. Looking back, I honestly can't remember the last time that I had good cancer-related news - possibly over a year ago when I was on my first trial. Anyway, today my liver function levels were all either normal (What???) or still high but less than half of what they were three weeks ago.
The response? There are several. The Gina who is sorting through papers, labeling photographs, and reviewing her will is still definitely in the house. I worked way too hard to get her in here to just kick her out because of a little glimmer of hope. But there's also the Gina who can almost imagine looking back at this fall and thinking, "Wow. I really thought that was the end." This Gina is more like a houseguest than a full-on resident. I take her with a hearty tablespoon of salt. And there's the Gina who is simply afraid - afraid to die, afraid to trust a good result, afraid to make her children sad, afraid to eat a piece of pumpkin pie.
And so we stumble forward - we three Ginas - from moment to moment and truth to truth.